The Power worked in the body as if hundreds of needles were being pushed into the body, extremely painful. When this Force was working between 5 and 6 a.m., it wiped out all darkness forever. There was nothing but an ocean of light and an intense powerful gratitude rose from my whole being to the Mother and Sri Aurobindo. It was too much for my little body – it gave the impression of being literally burnt inside, there was no pain but an unbearable pressure of power, I didn’t have a second of peace. I talked for two days and two nights almost non-stop, because I found that when I talked the pressure was released. I talked about the tremendous divine presence, how everything was utterly divine, each one, each being, each thing was that magnificent spiritual Reality, a living symbol of God, and I saw the same all the time. Mother, please Mother give me a little more time, so that I can love You, adore You in all things and beings, because there was nothing else, no one else but the supreme peaceful Mother. This state has become the very foundation of my consciousness. The love for the Mother has become the entire life. When the power was coming down I cupped my eyes with my hands, as if there was a beautiful night sky with twinkling stars. Sometimes it seemed that they were falling into me. Everything is like a vast desert. The earth that I had known was as if gone forever. It is not an arid desert, but a huge boundless land where the new crop, the new creation will gradually manifest. So there is no planning, no project, no writing, no birth or death. Gradually what has to manifest will manifest, effortlessly, spontaneously.
I felt as if a train was in my body, a huge powerful flow of divine felicity, too strong for my body. Then I sat at the organ. As I was playing I heard a sound as if a thousand organs were playing, filling up the whole world or universe. I had never heard anything like that in my life, so powerful, penetratingly ravishing, intolerable ecstasy. I had to stop playing. Then I realised fully, entirely, more deeply than ever that the Mother and Sri Aurobindo are the Supreme, who came down on the earth behind a thick veil, almost impenetrable of humanity. Now they are constantly present – there is nothing to worry about – the world is utterly divine. Whatever shadows we see will disappear. Each one is the Divine Himself, not less, absolute, no one else but the Divine, nothing to be done, just the Divine manifesting Himself in his utter glory. There is still in my consciousness the awareness of our human life and society. It is an old habit and utter ignorance. Still the old world comes back from time to time, but it has no reality. There is only the Supreme Mother, love, delight. My soul, my whole body enters into a state of gratitude, utter self-giving. Now when I look around I do not see human beings. Behind the thin veil stands the splendour of the supreme glory. When I play music, it becomes a hundred times more intense. The body can hardly sleep, but now it will be stabilized, peace is coming. It is not an ordinary peace – but the peace of the himalayan mountains, in order not to be blown out of existence. There is far more in that experience, far more, too long, too deep, too difficult to be expressed in words.
Om namo Bhagavate. Om Sri Aurobindo, Om Douce Mère. All mantras will not be able to express their love and compassion for all, for each one. Thy Will Be Done.
Niranjan Guha Roy
Some experience with the transforming force
The body was flooded with felicity and delight. I entered into a world of absolute presence of the Divine, His love and delight, extremely powerful.
The Force was working in the whole body as if it was burning. It subsided. The vision was overwhelming, it seemed as if the whole body had become a power generating dynamo, an extremely powerful vibration. The vibration seemed absolutely immobile. The presence of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo filled the whole space. I could almost see their physical presence, huge, most reassuring, as if all their support was with me. The energy flowed, I couldn’t contain it. The body was shattered. The whole body was like a powerful dynamo. I thought I would blow up, but gradually things subsided, energy was always there, light, light, everywhere. The power sometimes receded, then came back, almost with an explosive violence. I felt as if all the cells were burnt out, but relieved. I felt I had crossed the bar and been admitted in the supreme spiritual Reality, everything, everyone, anything in my mind became ravishingly divine. The whole world, all the beings were only the Divine in His splendour. In that light, intolerable ecstasy going through the body like a gigantic generator, the inner being has been crushed out of existence as if it has passed through a massive sugarcane crushing machine, nothing is left of the personality, everything has been scattered into the infinity of God, into the vast boundless, vibrating ocean of love, the Mother. There is nothing but the Mother and Sri Aurobindo, They are one supreme Being, everywhere in everything, staggeringly powerful, devastating presence.
Our human body, even our inner being, all taken together is extremely weak, and at the mere touch of the divine force, or with a drop of that golden liquid, all the being can end up in an explosion – it will take centuries to prepare bodies which can safely hold the sacred fire. The evolution will proceed by slow steps, very slow steps, otherwise it will collapse. From then onwards there was a fundamental change in my vision. There is no longer any human living being, each one is utterly eternally divine.
Niranjan Guha Roy 1999