The Endless Quest

The Endless Quest


O Friend, intimate as Thou art, my constant companion,
I can neither give Thee a name nor paint Thy outline
Nor confine Thee in any manifestation.
Ages I have spent looking for Thee,
A drop of water in the midst of Ocean,
While Thou wert all around, encircling me with Thy Love,
Pressing me from above, upholding me from below,
And forcing Thy way from within outwards,
Like the joy of a blossoming rosebud
Which cannot be contained anymore.
O Spirit eternal, a million universes rise and dance and disappear
Without affecting the solitary Majesty of Thy timeless splendor.
Ideal beauty, love and loyalty, perfumes and jewelry
Displayed in the shop windows on the beach of time
Vanish like low-lying mud islands swept away by Thy tidal grandeur.
Thy existence is more real and concrete to my perception
Than my own being, than the woman I kiss or the child I hold in my arms.
The basalt and the granite appear thinner than the morning mist
In the massive all-pervading presence of Thy Reality.
These names and images shine for a moment
On the firmament of Thy transcendence,
A cavalcade of ritual symbol-figures of Thy bodiless limitless wonder.
Who can tell me where the dream stops and the waking begins?
Who can separate the true from the false?
Heartbeat of my heartbeat, life of my life, body of my body,
Yet a greater stranger than Thee, I shall never meet.
Each time I try to pull Thee in, O Denizen of the deep,
Thou remainest as ever unseen, tantalising,
Beckoning the soul to an irresistible danger, pursuit and delight.
Each new probe, each new dive into the hidden reaches of the Infinite
Brings surprise conquest, a death and rebirth into a greater Adventure.
We proceed from one aim to a greater apocalypse,
From faint to a deeper hue,
From a poor joy to a fuller bliss in an endless ascending series.
Constantly we wake up in a new dawn, a new revelation,
Only to find that the glorious Godhead of the day before
Was but the travesty of the imperishable, Invisible Sun.
There is always an unexplored panorama
Beyond the last transformation.
The highest summit conquered reveals a yet undiscovered peak.
Thou hast revealed to my soul
Thy seamless conscious immensities,
Dizzy heights packed with condensed Light,
Depths which refuse to give up their wealth,
Dangerous rushing seas where the being unaware
Slips into an abyss of ecstasy.
The visible and the subtle have become One
In a Super mystery which none shall penetrate.
Where is the Hell painted by the poets?
And the dungeon shut out from Light and Compassion?
There are no walls, no closed cells,
No fortress of hatred and violence,
Nothing that can offer resistance
To the constant shower of Thy Grace.
The ugly and the sordid have miraculously left the stage.
I have surprised the Hunchback of Notre Dame behind the curtain.
The marvelous Guest in each being
Cleaves forward through time and fate.
He will arrive at the banquet when the hour shines.
Niranjan Guha Roy

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