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All around me, everything was like a vast desert. The earth that I had known was  gone forever and still that state is there. It is not an arid desert, but a huge boundless land where the new crop, the new creation will gradually manifest. So there is no planning, no project, no writing, no birth or death. Gradually what has to manifest will manifest, effortlessly, spontaneously.

Then I started feeling as if a train was in my body, a huge powerful flow of divine felicity, too strong for my body. Then I sat at the organ. As I was playing I heard a sound as if a thousand organs were playing, filling up the whole world or universe. I had never heard anything like that in my life, so powerful, penetratingly ravishing, intolerable ecstasy. At the same time a thousand orchestras seemed to be playing.  This music was filling the whole earth and sky, the whole creation. I myself never heard such powerful harmonious, intolerable Felicity. When I played , I was not playing, it was a tremendous power of harmony flowing through me, playing through me. All I can say, I do not know how I have survived. It was only by the grace of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo constantly present protecting me, so that I would not explode.

Now the body has slowly regained a stability, but even now at times that power suddenly invades the whole being. It is not a suffering, but a flow of unbearable currents of the supreme divine love and gratitude. Now I feel the body won’t break down, it is becoming more peaceful by the downpour of a pacifying force. But that power behind, of supreme harmony, is always there.

The Mother and Sri Aurobindo are the Supreme, who came down on the earth behind a thick veil, almost impenetrable of humanity. Now they are constantly present – there is nothing to worry about – the world is utterly Divine. Whatever shadows we see will disappear. Each one is the Divine Himself, not less. Absolute, no one else but the Divine, nothing to be done, just the Divine manifesting Himself in His utter Glory. There is still in my consciousness the awareness of our human life and society. It is an old habit and utter ignorance. Still the old world comes back from time to time, but it has no reality. There is only the Supreme Mother, Love, Delight. My soul, my whole body enters into a state of gratitude, utter self-giving. Now when I look around I do not see human being. Behind the thin veil stands the Splendor of the Supreme Glory. When I play music, it becomes a hundred times more intense. The body can hardly sleep, but now it will be stabilized, Peace is coming. It is not an ordinary Peace – but the Peace of the Himalayan Mountains, in order not to be blown out of existence. There is far more in that experience, far more, too long, too deep, too difficult to be expressed in words.

Om namo Bhagavate. Om Sri Aurobindo, Om Douce Mère.