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At night between 5 and 6 , a Power worked in the body as if hundreds of needles were being pushed into the body, extremely painful. I knew this Force when I was working in the library 1955 to 1962. When it came, my body would be in utter agony and often I felt like rolling on the ground. I was so afraid of it that I stopped concentrating on the Mother Divine. Not only that, when this Force came, it released  elements hidden in the dark lower region of the being.

When this Force was working between 5 and 6 a.m., it wiped out all darkness forever. There was nothing but an ocean of Light and an intense powerful gratitude rose from my whole being to the Mother and Sri Aurobindo. But it was too much for my little body – it gave the impression of being literally burnt inside, there was no pain but an unbearable pressure of Power .  I saw and realised the tremendous Divine Presence, how everything was utterly Divine, each one, each being, each thing was That magnificent spiritual Reality, a living symbol of God, and I saw the same all the time.

Mother, please Mother give me a little more time, so that I can love You, adore You in all things and beings, because there is nothing else, no one else but the Supreme peaceful Mother. This state has become the very foundation of my consciousness. The love for the Mother has become the entire life. When the Power was coming down I cupped my eyes with my hands as the room was lighted above the head, as if there was a beautiful night sky with twinkling stars. Sometimes it seemed that they were falling into me.


N .Guha Roy1999